I have felt drawn to share in this space over the past couple of months, but found myself deleting each post prior to it being published. As I would attempt to write again, I would feel compelled to share more of life's happenings but then become overwhelmed with where to pick back up.
Even now I'm having trouble figuring out where to start. All that comes to mind is a list of what I would like to share, specifically in bullet format. Maybe we will just start here and it will begin to free up the battle between writer's block and fear of brain overload with the thoughts in my head. Any of this sound the least bit "normal"?
// 1. As of September I will have a new job and role, which has needed to happen for quite some time.
less hours, less stress, and possibly more money. Very bittersweet as I will miss my second family, but it is something I need to do for myself. Even though I could care less for the facility in which I work, I have already cried for fear I could grow apart from some really amazing friends. But it must be done.
// 2. This upcoming fall/winter my dad will need a stem cell transplant for his follicular lymphoma.
Many people don't understand what exactly our family will be going through, but don't worry, I'll be sure to educate and I'm even thinking of creating a blog space to document my dad's journey to "day zero and back".
// 3. Because of this life changing event, I plan to move home in December to see Dad's transplant through. Another bittersweet topic, I am excited to be home for more than just a week, but I wish it was on better circumstances. Joe will be staying in New York during the time I spend at home, and I hope I can continue to be a loving wife to him from a distance. It's hard being apart from him even for a weekend, so this will bring its own challenges.
// 4. Our movement back to Texas has been halted so many times, I've lost count. Although it makes me anxious to not be home soaking up memories while they last, God has given me extreme peace over the moving situation.
//5. Flowers have been my serenity for about the past six months. I was asked to design florals for a wedding in May, and it all started from there. I have taken many courses in floral design and can say it is something I hope to pursue in my future. I envision many pictures posts to catch you up to speed on this one.
//6. I've saved this one for last just because I'm not even sure how to say it, and I'm pretty sure I may be in denial about the whole topic. I have found though, that the more I open up about it, the more people I find who are going through some of the same things we are. Am I being vague enough for you? What I will say for now (which is a lot) is that for the past year Joe and I have been trying to start a family, and no you haven't missed any birth announcements, because it seems that our timing or something else may be up. We have just started looking into the world of testing for infertility, but want it to ultimately be left in God's hands. All I can say is that baby fever is real, and I think I may be on fire from it.
I hope to expand on most of these topics, but for now I already feel a weight lifted.