See these loving faces...these are my parents. Can we truly define parents with a simple sentence from the dictionary? I don't think so...but these are mine and they are much, much more than that simple definition from Mr. Webster
Lately I have become enthralled with this little corner of the blogsphere called "Wifessionals". The writer of this blog is an awesome woman who encourages her readers in all aspects of life. It is refreshing to read posts from someone who is going through the same walk of life I am. She just announced that she is pregnant. So exciting! It's been fun to read along with her new adventures into the parenting world.
That being said, after getting married, the world immediately turns and suggests that next come babies. Put on the brakes...babies? I'm 24 years young. There is no way I'm ready for a baby. It is crazy though, a week after the wedding we started receiving the spam mail from different sites all about babies and conceiving. Talk about a honeymoon buzz kill.
I don't want readers to think that I am anti children, or that I'm just selfish and wouldn't welcome a new bundle of joy into our family...wrong. If God chooses to bless us before we are ready then by all means bring on a babe. But He knows the timing and I'm thankful for that. He gets to bear my anxieties and carry burdens of mine about this topic. So you want to know why no babies? Here is where is gets deep...
There are a multitude of reasons as why starting a family is quite a few years out for Joe and I. Yes we want the time to grow together, spend money, go on vacations, be spontaneous etc. But the single biggest reason and biggest fear of mine is this world we would raise them in. Now I know that my audience has many different beliefs systems and I 100% respect yours, I'm just going to share mine. Take it or leave it, not going to hurt my feelings, I'll love you the same.
As some of my family and very close friends know, I think the world that we live in is spiraling out of control and that the end could be near. (If I lost a few of you after that sentence, I apologize) Personally, I would love to see Jesus come back in my lifetime, I'm ready take me now! But what terrifies me...absolutely puts a huge pit in my stomach is the thought of my children ever getting "left behind". Think I'm crazy yet?
Lets step back...or bunny trail as Joe likes to call it. My amazing mother-in-law is one of the most well versed individuals when it comes to the Bible. What I also love is that she instilled this love of the Word into my God fearing husband of mine. Isn't that awesome? I have learned more from the two of them than I have in any Sunday school class. One day at lunch Joe and his mom told me of the book of Revelations. Now I'm not going to give you a full synopsis because that would take DAYS. Basically there are signs of end times in our day in age and it could happen any day, week, month, year, centuries from now, but no one could predict the day, which is pretty cool to me. We talked about the plagues that will rock the Earth and that many people may have to suffer if not first taken in the rapture. That is when it hit me...
Sure, I am grounded enough in my Faith to believe where I will stand on judgement day, along with my husband's "fate". As a mother, it would be my responsibility to make sure that my child is raised in a solid Christian home, with a child like faith, who is a believer through and through. Ok, that might not be too hard. I think God can guide me to be at least that for my offspring. But the fact that even after all of that, my children have the free will to choose if they will give their life to Christ is absolutely terrifying.
What if they don't chose to follow their faith? Can you imagine what kind of weight would be left on a mother's shoulders? My worst fear would be to see them suffer, to have to endure pain and consequences for not following the footsteps that were rooted in their hearts from birth. Phew...it makes my stomach hurt as I type this. Every single time I think about this topic I hear a little voice that says this is exactly how God feels. He created us, gave us the world, showed us His glory and yet He still gave us free will to choose. We can choose to say no to everything He has given. It makes me reflect and see how many times I have said no to what was right and the disappointment I have not only caused my family, but my creator as well. Can you believe they still love me? I guess that is what love is about and I fear that I may not be able to be that perfect leader in my home. Sure you say I'm human, and as any, I have faults. But seriously guys...a human life is nothing to joke about. It is a commitment for life! Sure they are cute when they are little but parenting is not about those short sweet moments. It's about raising a leader both physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Phew!
Alright, officially stepping off my soap box. Do you have fears of being a parent one day? Am I completely the only one who feels this way? I'm sure my momma would have a heap of wisdom for me, and I just hope I can be the mother to my children like she has been for our family.
Enjoy your Easter weekend!
|My lovely Mother-in-law and her wonderful Husband. Miss them!|