Cooking Catastrophe

7.10.2013

So I would by NO means call myself Julia Childs, but I tend to be pretty fantastic in the kitchen...as in cooking (not baking).
I tend to branch out with new recipes (often to Joe's horror) and they usually don't turn out too shabby.

Well...let. me. tell. you.
Persian cooking (hubby is Persian in case you didn't know) is a work of art.
All recipes call for spices that I have never in my wildest dreams heard of, and some of which, can only be bought at a persian supermarket.
Which, sadly this white girl has not yet worked up the courage to enter.

Each Persian recipe also will feed feast an army...as in Christmas dinner feast portion worthy.
Each Persian recipe also has a prep time of over an hour as well as cook time of over an hour.
Buttttt...always a big butt, they are delicious if you prepare properly.

I was so excited that on my day off I would be the awesome housewife and try my hand at my second Persian dish. The first try came off too "white girl" so I figured I would try my luck again.
I was able to find the exotic spices or their Walmart distant cousins and I just knew I had it in the bag...

WRONG-O

First off...when a recipe calls for 3 cups of rice and a full bag of beans, and you're only serving two people, wait until the next company potluck. We will be eating dill rice for months.

Enough rice to feed us until Christmas

Secondly, select the proper cookware sizes if attempting to cook 3 cups of rice and a full bag of beans...I washed my fair share of dishes that night.

Thirdly, when making cutlets, make sure that your skillet is turned down low and your ingredients are more pureed so that your hard work of meat-ball rolling won't end up down the tubes.

Hot mess potato explosion express

Must be more pureed...ugh
Fourthly, don't try to be cool and organic by buying fresh dill. You will and I repeat you WILL spend hours picking dill from the stem with little return in the end.
Dill...what a sneaky little spice
After these mishaps for a second time, I decided to throw in the towel. It is much too labor intensive for this novice housewife and (Persian) take out is much easier, and less of a headache.

What are your kitchen mishaps?


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7 comments:

  1. Oh no! I hate it when I'm excited about a recipe and get 'domestic' with my apron and all and it doesn't work!

    I JUST remembered like 3 months ago I told you I would send you some awesome recipes for healthy stuff that J likes as well... I will send those tonight!

    I'm glad you're back!

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  2. ahahahaa!

    I used to tutor adults whose second language was English. In one public speaking class, many of them demonstrated recipes. Of course, many of them also don't measure ingredients like we do. Anyway, I loved this one Middle Eastern dish and tried to duplicate it as breakfast for Sean who promptly spit it into the trash can. Whoops.

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  3. I honestly hate cooking, but trying new recipes keeps me more interested. You know, because they are new and different. My husband will always ask what's for dinner, and at least three nights a week, I will answer with something I've never made before. His eyes grow larger in fear, and there's a big audible inhale. I used to be awful, but now I only really screw up about 10% of the time. One famous error is the time I tried to toast some walnuts but didn't know I needed to put oil in the pan. So, they burned. Quickly and badly. And it nearly destroyed a $100 saute pan. My husband managed to salvage the pan, but I was only allowed to make sloppy joes and tacos for a while after that. So, trust me, I feel your pain.

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  4. hahahaha now i know what the dill was for. Doens't look bad at all tho, it looks yummy!!!

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  5. You are seriously too cute. I couldn't help but laugh. We have ALL been there...although Persian cooking sounds like a nightmare, just saying is all! The best we can all do is learn from our mistakes. If you really liked the recipe, stick a post it note on there with what you would do differently next time or what you did that you liked this time. That way you don't make the same mistake twice!

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  6. I certainly hope he appreciated the attempt.

    I can't remember any kitchen disasters at the moment. They've happened, but I've managed to forget them pretty quickly. My kitchen nightmares usually revolve around making 2 lasagnes for Christmas Eve dinner for my extended family and winding up exhausted and cranky by the time everyone comes over.

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  7. haha, it's so refreshing to see real life scenes from the kitchen, not just the fancy professional looking meals you see all over pinterest. i tried the "hashbrowns in a waffle iron" thing from pinterest recently and it was a mega fail. i can't believe i didn't take a picture of it. i'm still shocked by how bad it turned out, you would think it would be fool proof.

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