My feet may fail when fear surrounds me.

3.06.2014


fear: (noun)
a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone.
the likelihood of something unwelcome happening.

I fear anxiety itself. I dread moments when I feel anxious, empty, or lonely.

I fear the future. I fear not knowing if and when we will return "home" wherever that may be.
I fear having children. I fear that I am responsible for a small person's life, faith and well being.
I fear not having children. One of my worst fears is that my dad may not meet his grand babies, or watch them grow up if we wait around to have kids.
I fear leaving New York and the relationship we have developed here with each other.
I fear having to leave our church family here.
I fear the idea of having to live here forever (fickle I know).
I fear the world we live in. The people, the violence and the self entitlement.
I fear that bringing a child into this world could be a disaster.
I fear being alone. What if God one day took Joe away from me. I would be so, so lost. 
I fear looking weak in front of my peers. 
I fear the death of others, but not of my own. It's selfish really. I fear the sadness it would bring.
I fear that there are dark times and worse moments in my future. 
I fear all things out of my control.

Fear is the burden we carry on our shoulders daily. It is fear that forms the wrinkles around our tired eyes; and fear is what ages us. Fear is stressed without spelling desserts backwards. 

What is fear for you?
Does it motivate you? Does it encourage you?

Fear is something I take to my creator. When I cannot handle it anymore, I leave it with someone who can. My fear evaporates as I am still instead of worrying.


Won't you sit still today?



"Oceans" Hillsong United


Have you met my newest adventure?

8 comments:

  1. I LOVE this song! And I LOVE you!!! ....and duh...we have the same fears. Miss you!!
    -Daryl Lina

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  2. This song is amazing. I've struggled a lot with fear too but I rest knowing God will fight for us!

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  3. I have the worst time with fear. Fear doesn't motivate me, it paralyzes me. I think it's paired with the anxiety to become a debilitating cocktail. I also fear the idea of bringing children into this world... I don't feel like it's a safe or nice enough place for little people. I'm always here for you when the fear gets too much and you need to tell someone about it.

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  4. Wow. Incredible post! I have so many fears like yours.

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  5. I fear so many things you fear. I'm just coming to terms with them all. Stay strong, stay present. <3

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  6. We have the same fears. Fear consumes me at times. And it's certainly not a motivator. It makes me want to crumple in a ball and stay in bed all day. What a great song! I always pray during times of constant fear/anxiety. Always always helps me.

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  7. one of my absolute favorite songs ever.

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  8. This is probably my favorite post of yours so far! I fear anxiety itself and I really fear the future since it is so unknown for us.

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