|Not my image, unable to find original source.|
We have been back in New York for almost a week now, and I still just can't fit into the groove of things. Towards the end of 2014 I had figured out the hard way, that I pile way too many things on my plate. I had gotten to the point where the burden of my weekly schedule was no longer routine, but a heavy weight to bear which could almost feel suffocating at times.
I would often think, if I could just get through these next two weeks, I may feel some relief. Well I tell you, one of these days I will wish I had those two weeks back. So I decided I needed a new outlook on 2015. I have got to stop wishing the time away and STOP filling my plate, to where the site of it is exhausting.
The sad part is...most of these activities are not ones which are helping me to grow. In fact, they can sometimes be stifling the growth of my marriage, spirituality and my future dreams and goals. So what the heck am I doing?
Now why is this proverbial plate so full? I have said many times in this space, that I don't do well with stillness or silence in my life. I think it comes with the fear of feeling anxiety within the stillness. The other day I was reading through old posts and it seems that I emotionally wax and wane just like the seasons. Winter often has me withdrawn and negative when examining the fruits of my labor. It may be the lack of vitamin D, but it's also the stillness...
The quiet afternoons where the high barely reaches 8 degrees are the days I struggle with the things I fill my days with.
I am often guilty of pining after the temporary gratification, and when I look and see what my plate is filled with, temporary satisfaction is the common denominator. These things seemed that they would bring me success, and recognition are now the things that keep me up at night.
As I won't continue to lament, I'll share with you my plans of change this 2015.
This year I plan to thin the clutter from my life and schedule which is hindering relationships in my life. Now this is no easy task as these things often have long term commitments so it's not like I can just stop tomorrow. As the breaking away from these burdens may be difficult and awkward, I continue to pray that I have the strength to do it. And I have sworn Joe to telling me "NO!!!!" when I ask to add yet another commitment to the books.
I also need your help! There will be times when it doesn't feel good to say no, and I'll want to go back to the busy. I need you to help me realize that there is beauty in the stillness, and that strengthening the foundation is what is needed.
So see ya later fluff, stress, and over commitments! 2015 is all mine!