So let's be honest, my lackluster posts as of late (hah what posts right?) could be described as filler, brought on by my own self guilt. Guilt from not keeping up with this space; guilt that I thought my life wasn't "interesting" enough to document.
The truth is, I wanted this year to be
// I wanted to be pregnant, announce it in a cute way and produce the cutest 1/4 Persian babies you've ever seen.
// I wanted to move back to Texas, buy our first home and be close to family. You know, those babies would need grandparents!
// I wanted to get away from my current job, as what I loved had become an extreme source of anxiety, and most importantly unsafe. In my mind moving would be the answer and my dream job would become a reality.
// I wanted the perfect marriage, and I wanted happiness as the result of my marriage.
To say that 2015 has been less than expected would be an understatement. At the end of this summer I finally threw up my hands and (once again) decided to relent and give it to God. Looking back, I'm almost embarrassed. How selfish, and faithless I was. I was the toddler in the corner, pouting because I didn't get my way. I was disappointed that my idea of happiness wasn't becoming a reality in the duration of a year. A year? Really? As if all of those life changes could be expected in 12 short little months...
I will be the first to tell you, my life is not suddenly celebrity worthy. And no, I am not pregnant, moving to Texas, have my dream job or a blissfully perfect marriage. Are you surprised? Hah why didn't you tell me?
Instead, I'm embracing my community and the happiness that I have been given, rather than created on my own. As the end of 2015 is just around the corner, what did I learn? I learned that I cannot compare, I cannot control and most importantly I must remain content, faithful and thankful.